This is driving me crazy
I think Im having a nervous breakdown.
Seriously this A level thing is really driving me crazy. I never thought that knowing the results will be released this next friday will affect me this much. I am having constantly having dreams about getting bad results. Just last time I dreamt about me getting the lowest out of everyone in the class, but that wasnt too bad cus the dream didnt made any sense.
But this time its different.
Yesterday I dreamt that I got E for maths and Cs for the rest of all my subjects. Somehow in that dream it seemed so scary, and I was considering whether I should retake my maths anot, and I felt so ashamed to show my teacher and my friends my results.
And tonight more letters from NTU and NUS came. It sucks to see them sending so many phamlets asking you to go to their school when you know that there is a chance that you might not even be able to get into anyone of them. It just sucks, and there is totally no one I can talk this to, and after a phonecall I made somehow I just couldnt take it and I cried for a short while.
This A level thing really scares me. I mean what if on that day itself I got my results and see my friends jumping around for joy, while I just kept quiet to myself, and sit at a corner, or maybe just walk away..2 dreams I've had both indicating that I have sucky results, maybe its a bad sign? Omg I really cant even imagine what would happen after I got my result on that day. What my future will be like, or if I even am going to have one..
Well saw these pictures from Lu Chen's blog a long long time ago, and seeing them again somehow just made me feel how small I am, and makes me wonder even more how my future would be like.
This is a picture of his poster being pasted on a bus, the bus looks kinda dirty but
hell, its a bus!
And this picture is just so freaking amazing, I mean how many times in our lifetime to you think this can actually happen to us?
If you think about it, how he became what he is now is because when he was in university, he majored in Japanese Literature, and when he graduated there was totally no job for him, which is what pushed him to do magic as a career. But what the hell, at least he managed to get into a university. OMG I dont know what the hell is going on now, I just wish I can stop thinking about it until at least next thursday which is one day before I am going to get the results.
And to those people who are feeling depressed after reading this entry, Im sorry. Well good day.
Labels: Lu chen, Thoughts
blogged @ Thursday, February 26, 2009