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Little things~


Somehow today I got reminded of something that Koichi always said
だって、自分でやればいいじゃないの?

It means something along the line of "It's it alright if I just do it myself?"
Well I guess this is probably one of my traits being a Virgo,
I do certain things certain way,
I have my way of doing things, and usually don't like it when other people change things

I guess somehow I've come to experience that little fact today
I was supposed to cook dinner, and trying to save money I cooked instant noodles for myself
While waiting for the noodle to boil, I went to watch Liar Game
I got so engrossed that I was a little late for my boiling noodles
By the time I got there I saw my dad cooking my noodle in my place

Seriously? To tell you the truth I was SHOCKED
Not in the sense of "wow my dad is cooking something for me!" but in the sense of "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TOUCHING MY NOODLES?!"
Well that was the exaggerated way of phrasing it,
Of course on the outside I looked surprised
But on the inside I am actually dying

So I told him it's fine, I can take it from here,
But he wanted to cook it for me anyways,
Because the way he cooks it is different from the way I cook,
I cringed at every single step he took with my noodles
He kept saying that his way of cooking is nicer
And ask me to try

So I'm fine, he cooks it, I try it
It would be fine if it really is like how he said it
But well, I still prefer the way of how I cooks it
As unhappy as I am feeling within
From the bottom of my heart, I am thankful for my dad's effort in cooking that dinner for me

Which is why right now,
I totally hate this stupid trait that I have as a person
I really hate it when people takes the things that I can do myself and tries to do it for me,
And when the effect turns out to be unsatisfactory,
I feel sooo unhappy and I just get angry for no reason
Because I know it's not that person's fault,
All I can do is hold the anger within me and just blame it on my own stupid personality

だって、自分でやればいいじゃないの?

I have always felt that way,
Probably not in the same way that Koichi does
I don't even know if he as issues like that
But for me it's getting irritatingly strong
I hate it when people change the way I do things,
And I also hate it when I have to ask favors from people...

Somehow it makes me feel so powerless,
It makes me feel so useless
I guess I just hate depending on people..
If it's things that is within my means of completing
I would really hate to ask someone else to do it for me

I don't know since when and how did I even come to become like this
But somehow, I just became like that

Yeap so sorry that it's another weird entry
I'll copy paste Ovation Look at Star scans tmr from the community
Nights...

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blogged @ Tuesday, January 26, 2010 11:46:00 PM




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