I'm suck of how this stupid society functions where you need a stupid degree in order to survive.
I hate how Singapore is soooooo small that you need to compete for every single thing you want
Seriously? I hate studying alright?
I hate it to the max!
But I have to do it don't I?
I hate how the things I enjoy doing are the things that won't get me far in life
Why why why am I like that?
Why can't I just sit down and study properly?
I know I have the brains to do it
But why don't I just have the will to do it properly?
Why am I not a nerd who holds a book everywhere?
Why do I love music so much
Why do I love all the things that people in the society don't take it seriously so much?
Why am I born like this?
Maybe someone can tell me?
Maybe the person who gave me the genes can freaking tell me??????
You want me to drop out?
If I can afford to of course I will
I am not desperate to study for goodness sake
Just because I cannot wake up for one class you want me to quit school?
You are the one who didn't want to take a loan in the first place alright
You know that it is going to be expensive
You know that it will be difficult
Then why don't you let me take a loan when I said I wanted to?
You want to settle everything then fine!
Don't just throw it all in my face as and when you like ok?
I know working is my choice, I am not complaining am I?
I know it's tiring and so what if I overslept and missed one class?
You want to give me $3000 and let me go Japan??
Of course I don't mind taking it
But you want me to quit school after I come back and start working on my own?
Screw you ok
You think I wouldn't want that?
I totally can't wait to get the fuck out of this stupid education system already
Can I help it that I need a stupid cert to survive in this stupid society?
Saying stuffs like the school fees you paid for me can bring you to Japan dunno how many times already
Argh FUCK IT LAR SERIOUSLY
STOP THROWING ALL THESE IN MY FACE
I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN I HAVE TO DEPEND ON PEOPLE ALRIGHT
WHY CAN'T I HAVE THE ABILITY TO SUPPORT MYSELF
SERIOUSLY IT SUCKS WHEN YOU HAVE TO SUCK EVERYTHING IN JUST BECAUSE U KNOW YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF SURVIVING ON YOUR OWN
I know I might sound super irresponsible and people may start telling me all the crap about what "you dad is just worried, blah blah blah"
But you don't understand how it feels like when your own stupid father don't trust you ok?
Constantly doubting you every time thinking that you are not studying
Thinking that you are wasting your life away
Argh I seriously don't need this..
And fuck it just as I am typing all these
I am sitting in school alone,
And 3 fucking idiots whom I don't even fucking know just come and sit at my table
WITHOUT EVEN ASKING FOR MY PERMISSION
One of the guy even asked another girl who was sitting there if he was allowed to take the seat
And the girl didnt even bother to fucking ask me she just said ok
WHY DO SUCH IRRITATING PEOPLE EXIST?!?!?!??!?!?!
I AM DAMM SICK OF LIFE ALREADY
I still have Jap class later~
I dont even feel like going...
Not because I don't enjoy being there,
But because I wouldn't know what to say to Yiting when I see her
Will my eyes still be bloodshot red when class starts?
Will sensei ask me questions?
Will I end up crying in class?
I dont know...I know it's cowardly, but..Right now..
I just want to go somewhere far far away...Away from everything...
Maybe I can go there and never come back...
Labels: School, Thoughts
blogged @ Saturday, February 20, 2010