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Worst day of my life

Yes as the title said,
Today is the worst day of my life
And you know what the sad thing was?
Today was supposed to be the best day of my life

Because my KinKi YOU DVD finally arrived,
And Yiting went to collect it and I am supposed to get it from her today,
Followed up by going to Kinokuniya and get my Only Star,
And then going to HMV to collect my Hey! Minna Genki Kai? single because it has arrived already
And the day went well,
Met up with Yiting, took my KinKi YOU,
Went to town together, and went Kinokuniya, bought my magazine,
And we went to KFC for lunch

At this point of time,
I had to go to the stupid freaking toilet,
And left my wallet in the cubicle,
I guess I didnt sleep much hence my brain is not working properly
Or whatsoever
Shit me I forgot to take my wallet with me when I left!!
Dammit dammit dammit!!!
Fuck it!!

By the time I realized it and went back to the toilet
My wallet is gone!!
Of course
Who wouldnt steal that wallet zzzz
After doing every possible thing, my wallet can't be found
And I had to report it to the police

Inside my card there is my SIM and RMIT student pass,
My expired ez-link card, ($59 inside)
My Identification Card, (I guess it will cost me at least $50 to make a new one)
My POSB ATM and Debit card (already cancelled)
My Kinokuniya membership card ( I wonder if they will make another card for me T__T )
My Sentosa staff pass (now I can't inside for free and I have to pay an extra $10 to get the card replaced)
My $20 HMV voucher
The remaining $50 from the $100 that my mum had given me just yesterday
The other $50 used to top up my ez-link card which was gone too

Yes you can see that it is really a big problem for me to lose it
I have done mostly what needs to be done,
And inside there is my beloved Ossan Koichi reading newspaper also
And my other handsome Koichi photo inside
I really want to kill myself
Just because I am so angry with myself

Why why why???
What is wrong with you Yuanshan?
You don't lose things,
Yet why is it that the moment you lose something it is something that is so freaking important??
I really cannot stop blaming myself the moment I realized that I lost my wallet
When I called mum up, I told her everything
And started apologizing about the $100
Halfway I totally couldnt take it anymore and I started crying
Started weeping in the middle of the streets
And she even said don't worry about the money
She'll just give it to me again
All she's worried about was my Identification Card
And kept telling me not to think about the money
She's really a very nice mum I tell you..

I feel so bad for Yiting because she's just right there walking beside me
All she could do was just give me a piece of tissue
That's the 1st time you have seen me cry huh Yiting
Feel honoured
Not many people have seen me cry lol

I really couldnt take it
I'm sorry mummy for your $100
I'm sorry daddy for wasting your hard earned $100
I'm really sorry
I guess this decides how I am going to spend my pay

Guess that's how life is for you
One moment of happiness will just result in another 1000000 moments of sorrow?
That really seems to be true for me

If only I didn't go to the toilet..
If only I didnt bring the stupid textbook so I wouldnt carry that big bag which will make it inconvenient for me to keep my wallet hence I held it in my hand
If only I bought that KinKi Kids single earlier,
If only if only..

I guess life just doesnt work that way huh?
There is no what ifs, there is no if onlys,
There is only now~
It has happened
And you just have to learn to deal with the shit
And like what Yiting said,
Even when you try to believe, you just know that humans sometimes can be so ugly
I just hope that whoever who took my wallet can just return it to me

I want to thank Yiting too~
For being there with me and running all over town with me
Following me to the police station,
Trying to make me feel better
Noticing that "Spend more than $10 and get a free drink from Macdonalds" sign
(Thanks for that really because I needed that drink lol)
And also for paying for my Hey! Minna Genki Kai? single,
Because I have no money to pay for it
Thanks for asking me to get it and be willing to pay for me first
Saying that you don't know how long they will keep it for me
I really really appreciate it
And thanks for that great site too~~ LOL Shhhhhh~~

And guess what?
This girl Yiting actually cabbed me home!
How nice can she get?
OMG I am tearing as I am typing this lol
I really cannot imagine what I would do without you girl~
I really love you T_____T
And Eliza too~
Thanks for smsing me and telling me that you can come over if I need any help
I really appreciate it
I love you too~ T_____T

Tomorrow we'll KinKi YOU together ok??
I really need all that highness and fun now~ Haha

On another totally side note,
Since yesterday I have been falling in love with the Endless SHOCK soundtrack,
And I have put all those instrumental songs into my phone,
And kept listening to it today
I even off the shuffle option so that all the songs will play in sequence
After Yiting left the cab,
I am still listening to those beautiful and sad music,
And of course it didnt make me feel better at all..

Like I said KinKi Kids always speaks to me right?
I know what happens next is gonna sound dumb
I remembered that and really wanted to just try it for fun
I went to on the shuffle option just so that the next song that will be played will be totally random
And I wanted to see if KinKi Kids can 'speak' to me through their songs
Perhaps that might make me feel a little bit better?

Guess what song was played next?


Initially when I heard the opening of the song,
I was like 'ahhh I guess it doesnt work that way eh..'
But when I started listening to the lyrics carefully,
I almost cried
Because it totally seemed like they are talking to me
Don't believe?
Listen to the song then,
These are the translations =)

KinKi Kids - Flower
Bokura wa ai no hana sakasou yo
Let us make the flower of love bloom
Kurushii koto bakkari jyanai kara
Because life isn't just filled with painful things
Konna ni gambatteru kimi ga iru
You are here trying your best
Kanawanai yume wa nainda
There are no dreams that won't come true

Tsurai bakkari de ashita ga meinai to Nageku senaka ni
"Everything's so painful and I can't see tomorrow" I saw your back as you said that
Wakai kuseni sa
You're young and yet have this bad habit
Aishuu tappuri de yarusenaiyo ne
Being full of sorrow and helplessness

Otona ni naru dake wasurete yuku kedo
Just becoming an adult, we tend to forget this but
Taiyou wa itsudemo hohoemi kaeshite kureru
The sun will always be smiling back at us

Bokura wa ai no hana sakasou yo
Let us make the flower of love bloom
Kurushii koto bakkari jyanai kara
Because life isn't just filled with painful things
Konna ni gambatteru kimi ga iru
You are here trying your best
Kanawanai yume wa nainda
There are no dreams that won't come true

Umaku ikanai
When thing's don't go well,
Yaruki mo okinai
And the feeling of doing things doesn't awaken too
Sonna mainichi
Every day when it happens,
Hekomu toki demo asa wa yatte kuru 
Even in times of indent, morning will still come
Boku wo matte iru
It is there waiting for me

Nemui me wo kosuri hikari wo abitara
Rubbing my tired eyes, I bask in the light
Taiyou ga mabushii
The sun is bright
Mou sugu natsu ga yatte kuru
Summer will come soon

Bokura wa ai no hana sakasou yo
Let us make the flower of love bloom 
Aozora himawari no youni tsuyoku
Up to the blue sky, being strong like the sun flower
Chiisana koto de kuyokuyo shiteta
Worrying about the small things,
Kinoo no boku ni sayonara
I say goodbye to who I was yesterday

Kokoro no mannaka ni aiteru ana de mo
Even the hole right inside your heart
Naosenai mono nado nai to
There's nothing that can't heal it
Shinjite koto sa
That's what I believe in

Bokura wa ai no hana sakasou yo
Let us make the flower of love bloom
Kurushii koto bakkari jyanai kara
Because life isn't just filled with painful things
Konna ni gambatteru kimi ga iru
You are here trying your best
Kanawanai yume wa nainda
There are no dreams that won't come true

Bokura no ai no hana saita toki
At that time when our flower of love blooms
Minna de yorokobi wo wakachiaou
Everyone, let's share this joy together
Konna ni gambatteru boku mo iru
I am here trying my best too
Issho ni yume wo kanaeyou
Let's fulfill our dreams together


PS: Yes now you can understand why I almost cried when I heard this song. Even though it's a fast paced song, but it's a song I've been listening to since young, hence there is this familiarity feeling when I heard it, and now that I understand the lyrics, somehow at the point of time, this song just sort of reassured me a little, just like how they are saying to be "Daijoubu.."
Fulfill my dreams? I'll see you at Endless SHOCK then huh? =)

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blogged @ Saturday, October 3, 2009 2:35:00 AM

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